I will miss The Fruit Cake Lady

She died on November 13th. Hat tip to AmIAnnoying.com.

Circa 1911-November 13, 2006)
Born in Alabama
Birth name is Marie Rudisill
Appears on the Tonight Show's ‘Ask the Fruitcake Lady' (2002-)
Authored eight books
Aunt of Truman Capote

She didn't pull punches.
She helped raise Truman Capote.
She taught Mel Gibson how to make a fruitcake, Cuba Gooding Jr. to cook a cherry pie, and Hugh Grant how to stuff a turkey.

When someone asked her if she had been naughty or nice in 2005 she said, ‘Now how in the hell is a ninety-four year old woman gonna be naughty? My naughty days are over forever!'

RECRIMINATIONS

THE UNAPOLOGETIC VARIETY

By: Norman Liebmann]

(I like the way he writes) A principal bone of contention in the recent election devolved on which party would more likely keep America safe. In a world full of Moslems, safety is an illusion, and nobody promised it more lavishly and irresponsibly than the Democrat Party. What passes for safety among Democrats is denial. Liberals are unprovoked beyond finger wagging and tongue clacking by Islamic excesses. They believe the silver lining to being beheaded by jihadis is that it is a quick cure for a migraine headache.

The Republicans waged an irresolute political campaign pretty much like military one they did in Iraq. In coming to power the Democrats will bring with them a virtual tsunami of taxation and corruption. Moderates have merged with Democrat surrender-freaks and marched under a banner that proudly proclaims “Mish Mash Accomplished”.

The electorate’s response demonstrated America’s aversion to partial birth wars and abortive political campaigns. History instructs them that compromise quickly morphs into collusion. George W. Bush described his party’s loss as “a thumping”. Rather it was a thoroughgoing humiliation and a pedal to the metal acceleration for the encroachment of Armageddon due largely to Bush’s naïve delusion that there are good Moslems and bad Moslems. He comes by this warped ambivalence honestly. Bush Sr. still labors under the delusion there are good Bill Clintons and bad Bill Clintons. Bush Senior is still sucking up to his unprincipled predecessor. The Bush’s family’s failure to inveigh against the crimes of Bill Clinton is tantamount to an endorsement of them. Apparently, Texas has become a rats’ nest of forgiveness. If the past is prologue, in due course George W. will soon be trysting with his nemesis, Cindy Sheehan.

The campaigns conducted by the Republicans and Democrats were septic and obscene, something like watching Jerry Springer and Maury Povitch throw up on each other. The Liberals rounded up the usual dupes and dragged them to the polls. They were fed the proposition that Bush engineered the 911 attack on the World Trade Center, and Civil rights leaders disseminated the canard that he also created the low pressure system that sent Katrina flooding Basin Street and gave everyone a damp case of “the blues”.

Instruments in the Democrat victory are Bill Clinton, (Hillary’s time-share husband), Kofi Annan, highly-situated scam artist and international oil hoaxer, and the ghost of Pancho Villa. Likely the Democrat campaign strategy was mapped out in the cantinas of Tijuana and the whorehouses of Little Rock.

The Democrat Party is also an acknowledged sanctuary for conscienceless opportunists, Arkansas yokels, the chronic disloyal, aging Princes of Pork, ugly women, and an assortment of sexual epicenes and pathogenic feminists. These ranks are fleshed out by “oppressed” minorities seduced by the promise of raising the minimum wage with a commensurate promise of minimizing work.

The hood ornament of the Democrat victory is Nancy Pelosi of the City of San Fag-cisco, America’s Babylon-by-the-Bay, who has finally reached the portals of Marxist/Leninist heaven where she can change her name to Svetlana and wait for her turn to straddle a tractor as a means of getting some sexual relief.

The Democrats now have leave to vent their true feelings toward all things military – contempt, distrust, and mostly, ingratitude. Nancy Pelosi has already laid claim to a plush office whose strategic advantage is a picture window that enables her to drop her knickers, and moon the Pentagon.

The politicians have formed a study group, presumably of the same ilk that oversaw the evacuation of Saigon. Needless to say, they will not be of the same fabric that raised the flag atop Mount Suribachi. It includes James Baker from the Bush Sr. Administration, which reaffirms the proposition that in politics there’s always room to go backwards. It is hoped that W. is good with leftovers. The whole process is something akin to trying to fertilize dinosaur eggs. Colin Powell’s head pops up intermittently like a prairie dog with his panacea solutions for Iraq. He does have unchallengeable credentials. After all, he did the voice-over for Desert Storm. It is hoped one measure the group will consider is the abolition of the State Department, that murky pond of compromise and nesting ground for the propagation of appeasers.

The slogan “Stay the course” has been discredited as the Bush strategy in Iraq deteriorated from “Victory or bust” to “Occupation and rust”. The Democrats are at odds over a date certain for bailing out of Baghdad. They are divided into two camps – those who believe we should take the money and run, and those who believe we should take the money and quit. Either strategy might be described as “committing Murtha”. In either case it only remains for the Marines to shove Saddam Hussein back down into his spider hole and hop the next freighter back to Camp Lejune. (Our sometime ally, Tony Blair, wants to enlist those rogue states, Iran and Syria, to help solve the problems of the Middle East. Apparently Neville Chamberlain lives! As an alternative to victory Blair is offering us a reenactment of Dunkirk.)

The War on Terror was destined to remain theoretical as long as George Bush was distracted by his preoccupation with making the world a cushy place for the swarthy tribes of the world, and a sewer big enough to mix the molasses for his brand of compassion. The problem is not that he hasn’t won the war in Iraq. He simply chose not to fight it. He is intent on fixing the infirmities of the world of terror and insurgency with a kind of global soothing. Hence, it is apparent that there is no such thing as “winning” in Iraq. Despite Bush’s good intentions toward the people of the Middle East, the determining pragmatism of Islam is a slavery-is-not-all-bad mindset.

In any event, Americans have turned their backs on open borders and piecemeal wars. The conventional wisdom is that any Moslem killed today is one that won’t have to be killed tomorrow. A viable strategy for the Bush Administration might have been, instead of discouraging a Civil War in Iraq they should have been fomenting one in Iran.

[Note: A grim factor in the election demographics is that American Jews voted
85% Democrat. Presumably old habits die hard. At Auschwitz such collaborators
were called “kapos” and served as maitre d’s stationed at the velvet rope to
check whether a hapless kinsman had a reservation in order to enter the gas
chamber. In gratitude for their support, Minnesota Democrats spit in their faces
by electing a Moslem to Congress. That is tantamount to the Hassidim in Brooklyn
sending a mohel to Mecca.]

The situation promises to get worse before it gets better. John Kerry has not abandoned his political ambitions. It is likely that Hillary will be the Democrats’ candidate for President in 2008 and Kerry will be their candidate for Vice- President. The ticket may well be designated as Bitch and Botch. Their Administration would quickly demonstrate that Democrats are unable to solve any problem until they have first made it global.

John Murtha’s candidacy for the Democrat Majority Leader has already been deep-sixed. His aspiration was sunk by his ethically-challenged political past and his unmistakable resemblance to Helen Thomas’ passport photo. Worse, we see the reemergence of that notable invertebrate Trent Lott, who made the Clinton impeachment an exercise in futility. Lott demonstrated that you can’t stand up without a spine, and to remedy that, in Lott’s case, would require a surgical procedure about as radical as implanting a hockey stick in his back.

Having done nothing about illegal immigration, nothing about Iran, nothing about North Korea, Bush has become Dudley Do Nothing. It took him a year to respond to 9/11 – and arguably to the wrong enemy. One suspects there will be a call for a fallback position to a Fortress America military posture, since the Europeans have scuttled their democracies and defaulted themselves and their posterity to the Moslem barbarians.

Bush now can look forward to the humiliation of impeachment without the amenities. The only way the Bush family can atone for the coming apocalypse is to subject the Arkansas lout to a gradual and painful execution for the public entertainment before his natural demise resuscitates the nation’s honor. The only question that Bill Clinton has to conjure with these days - is there impotence after death, or even worse, before?

John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to fight” - and neither have the Republicans. Unsure of how to conduct war with the Iraqis, the Bush Administration instructed the Marines to approach any Moslem unlocked and unloaded - and with a saucer of milk. Bush was equally docile when he sent his pussycat political strategist brigades to reason with the groin kickers on the left. So much for the new tone.

In the interest of space, read the rest here.

Those non-blinking, Botoxed Eyes

Congratulations to the Democrats, but be Careful what you Wish for

Not all democrats are happy. I believe there are conservative democrats..or democratic conservatives (whatever) out there that are concerned.

I have met a few in other forums.

That's what I probably am, having voted democrat until this last presidential election.

I think somewhere between FDR and Kennedy, the conservative mindset gave way to socialism and liberalism.

Does being a democrat nowadays mean you accept the government's hand in everything you do?

Does being a demcrat mean you have to gleefully accept illegal aliens, giving them all the rights an American citizen enjoys?

Being a democrat, do you agree that the Iraq war is a failed concept and we should cut and run right now...nevermind how many Iraqis will be slaughtered when we leave?

Let's get ready for higher taxes and interest rates.

Fire up those social programs...change our language to Spanish (we don't need to be selfish).

Health care for everyone....that's what those other socialist countries do and it's working out fine for them.

I guess I need to learn Arabic and get used to being on my knees, looking up some other guy's ass too, since being a Democrat of today means I must apologize to all those countries that don't like us.

Next stop, the White House, I guess.

Let's put the Hildebeast or Obama-Whama in there.

The repubs did lose and the dems have finally gotten some power in the house after 16 years. Congrats but I am concerned about what this will create.

I don't see good things from this but maybe that's my pessimistic nature.

I'm off to learn all about Socialism and try to get a fixed rate on my mortgage.

24 Sneek Preview

I'm pumped.

This Guy is Completely Devoid of Class

Bill Maher is, and always will be a complete moron.

If he's not obsessing on hating Bush, he's choosing to go out in public with this tasteless costume, making fun of Steve Irwin.

This fool will do anything to get noticed.

The sad thing is, sometime during the evening he looked in the mirror and thought that was funny.

How to Dance like a White Guy

"Party of the Rich" - Limousine liberals are upgrading to Lear jets

Strange how just a few years ago, it seems, Democraps (including me at the time) were thought to be against big business and rich politicians.
Now it seems all that time they were just getting richer (except me).I remember that last election that the dems are still whining about. Kerry and Edwards were the richest candidates ever to run for president.
The dems are just beside themselves because they can't understand why they have all that money and no power.
If it all changes (which it probably won't) in the elections, they'll have ALL the money and ALL the power.

I hope it happens. I'll be a lot more active on forums and my website when I gloat about how they're screwing things up on a daily basis.

Racists on a Plane

BOOOSH!

What the hell are the North Koreans up to? This sounds a bit ominous to me.

WASHINGTON – As reports circulated of a second imminent nuclear test, a high-ranking North Korean official who is called the unofficial spokesman for Kim Jong-il issued a not-so-veiled threat to the United States today in an interview with South Korean radio.

"Everything will be settled in a week," said Kim Myong-chol on KBS Radio.
"That is, whether we, Korean people, will remain as we are now, or lose, or New York will lose, or Washington, D.C., will lose, it will all be settled once and for all."

The report was carried in Chosun Ilbo, a Korean-language newspaper in the south.

The Only Reason I Watch Comedy Central

School for Scoundrels and Sling Blade - See it Today

Pasta Incident

Did you ever cough pasta through your nose?

Hate it when that happens.

Julian Beever

White and Nerdy

Did you catch Donny Osmond as his background dancer?
I think Seth Green is in there as well...not sure.

The Pope and the Muslims

The pope was quoting from literary text. If a muslim takes exception to that, he/she should respond with literary protests, not with violence.

I'm sorry the Pope thought he had to apologize. I hope he's watching this violence and is, at least in private, saying, "See, I told you so."

Now, they want his head?

Low-life barbarians.

10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good). A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did????

Where are all the Angry Black Muslim Men?

Where are all these "angry black men" that are supposedly "proud black muslims" like Farakkan, and the like, and why aren't they standing up to these Islamofacist terrorists that are determined to destroy their so-called religion?

Aren't they muslim?
Aren't they tired of these pukes taking over their religion?
Why aren't they as eager to rise against this threat to their religion as they are to rise against white man's repression?

Along that line, where are all the so-called American Muslims? They need to stand up and weed all these cowards out.

If I don't see something, I'm inclined to agree that the entire Islamic world (West and East) is willing to back these terrorists and only mean harm to the western world.

Is Nothing Sacred anymore?

Those evil insurgent bastards have gone too far!

They will wipe a lot of us out now. Have they no shame?

Why do we take Politics Personally?

It is funny how we take politics personally, since there's not much we can do about it, except state our opinion.

I was democrat in the Clinton years. Voted for him and for Gore...and found myself defending Clinton's Animal House antics while in the White House. And tried to justify his boldfaced lying us and the Grand Jury.

I was disappointed when Bush was elected because I'm in Texas and wasn't impressed with the way he ran things here while Governor.

My leanings changed after I saw how the Dems acted after both elections. I haven't seen any solutions for anything coming from these poor losers. All I heard from Kerry was, "I have a plan" or "This president didn't...(fill in the blank). The rest of the party is represented by a raging egotistical idiot who will say or do anything to stay in the limelight (Dean).

Their only hope apparently is Sen. Clinton. But she stays on the fence and won't take a stand on anything that requires a sense of commitment. She also has way too much baggage to be carrying into the campaign (some of it stolen from the white house when she left).

The rest has been whine, whine, whine.

When the president or his admin farts sideways, they're all over it. But, when one of their party is in trouble or goes against the fold, they either run away or send them to the alligators (Sen. Lieberman).

Basically, I haven't seen anything resembling a platform that the Dems have presented. The goal seems to do whatever puts them in a good light and the Repubs in a bad light.

Guess that's politics as usual, but we need to see some people with courage stand up and take responsibility for their actions and for their party.

Then, I might vote that way again.